{"id":25935,"date":"2020-06-27T15:22:33","date_gmt":"2020-06-27T15:22:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/one.sightlinemg.com\/airforcetimes\/uncategorized\/2020\/06\/27\/i-am-confused-scared-and-afraid\/"},"modified":"2026-08-07T20:45:59","modified_gmt":"2026-08-07T20:45:59","slug":"i-am-confused-scared-and-afraid","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/one.sightlinemg.com\/airforcetimes\/opinion\/commentary\/2020\/06\/27\/i-am-confused-scared-and-afraid\/","title":{"rendered":"\u2018I am confused, scared and afraid’"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I am a successful Black man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am an active-duty officer and pilot in the U.S. military with degrees from the U.S. Air Force Academy, Harvard University and Northwestern University. Over my 32-years on this earth, I learned to become comfortable in my skin, how to navigate the world and when to shield my blackness in precarious situations in my personal and professional life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I recently had in-depth conversations<\/a> with other Black professional peers, mentors and mentees about the social uprisings across the country and our tenuous office dynamics. All of us are stunned by how much the videos involving George Floyd, Christian Cooper and Ahmaud Arbery affected our white peers<\/a>. Simultaneously, we are confused when our white colleagues say, \u201cSorry for my ignorance\u201d and \u201cHow can I help?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For many of us, learning how to be the only black face in the room was tough because our socialization took decades. The recent barrage of requests for conversation<\/a> leaves us confused, scared and afraid. I want to use my experiences in the Air Force<\/a> to provide insight into why some Black military members are skeptical of our colleagues\u2019 recent intrigue with racial injustice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My racial maturation started as an early teen. Being disinvited to the \u201cspin the bottle\u201d gathering and called the \u201cwhitest Black person I know\u201d in middle school by white peers developed resilience. I cried when my ninth-grade basketball coach told me being a smart Black kid would not get me as far as being a dedicated athlete. Accusations of cheating by white teachers in high school because they hadn\u2019t seen a Black student receive high marks in advanced placement courses established perseverance.<\/p>\n\n\n\t