{"id":67072,"date":"2022-03-27T15:00:20","date_gmt":"2022-03-27T15:00:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/one.sightlinemg.com\/airforcetimes\/uncategorized\/2022\/03\/27\/for-service-members-learning-to-speak-civilian-its-about-softening-the-edges\/"},"modified":"2026-08-08T13:40:32","modified_gmt":"2026-08-08T13:40:32","slug":"for-service-members-learning-to-speak-civilian-its-about-softening-the-edges","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/one.sightlinemg.com\/airforcetimes\/education-transition\/2022\/03\/27\/for-service-members-learning-to-speak-civilian-its-about-softening-the-edges\/","title":{"rendered":"For service members learning to speak civilian, it\u2019s about softening the edges"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

We\u2019ve all been there before. You arrive in a new place full of people who speak your language \u2014 sort of \u2014 and are a lot like you, but not quite. They came from different backgrounds, endured different challenges, grew in different directions. So despite all you have in common, you end up talking past each other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now: Superimpose military service atop that scenario. Add specific experiences unique to the military, and attitudes and outlooks learned over years of necessity and repetition. And vocabulary: Throw in a lot of words and sayings that resonate with only a certain peer group.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Is it any wonder that service members encountering civilian life for the first time in years \u2014 sometimes for the first time in their adult lives \u2014 can struggle with communication and mutual understanding with friends, neighbors, colleagues, employers? The language they\u2019re speaking \u2014 and the identity that is producing it \u2014 are similar but, in crucial ways, occasionally different.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat else produces so many words, acronyms and utterances than fighting wars and preparing to fight wars?\u201d Alan Axelrod wrote in \u201cWhiskey Tango Foxtrot: The Real Language of the Modern American Military<\/a>,\u201d his affectionate 2013 glossary. \u201cOver many years, soldiers, sailors, marines and airmen have built their own language.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Adapting to civilian language<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Shawn McGinley, 56, of Fairfax Station, Va., understands this language well. He retired from the Army as a colonel after serving everywhere from Iraq to Germany to the United States. In 2007, he was stationed in Heidelberg, Germany, for a posting that was the first time he really worked with civilians.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI realized that the way that I talked to subordinate officers or sergeants, NCOs, it didn\u2019t really work with the civilians,\u201d McGinley said. \u201cThey\u2019d get mad, they\u2019d potentially complain. So I started to change.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A few years later, in Rock Island, Ill., he found himself in charge of about 1,200 civilians with the Army Corps of Engineers \u2014 park rangers, economists and biologists, among others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI had this huge civilian workforce. And when I first got there, I was the only military person there. And man, that was a culture shock,\u201d McGinley said. \u201cI had to produce, and these guys weren\u2019t doing all that well in some of the things they got graded on. So some people got really upset with the way that I initially started communicating.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Eventually, he said, \u201cI was successful in getting to the point but getting there in a nicer way.\u201d It was a lesson for him: \u201cYou gotta know your audience.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mind the (identity) gap<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

And know yourself, too. Sarah Clark<\/a>, an Air Force veteran who left in 2016 and is now a doctoral candidate in linguistics at the University of Illinois, studies military identity and is working on a paper on \u201cthe veteran dialect.\u201d She considers the navigation between a military identity and a civilian identity a distinct activity that requires, like many navigational activities, both a map and a knowledge of self.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Clark remembers, during her first months as a civilian, throwing out sentences that contained military terms and getting \u201cthat confused face\u201d from academic colleagues. But to her, the issue goes far beyond the lingo so dominant in military life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThis isn\u2019t a language-to-language conversation. It\u2019s an identity-to-identity conversation,\u201d Clark said. When veterans transition to civilian life, she said, they have opportunities to create their identity \u2014 \u201ccreate who you are in that space.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s kind of like learning a new mission,\u201d Clark said. \u201cYou have your situational awareness and you\u2019re figuring out: `Here is the lay of the land. What\u2019s my force multiplier? What are the things that I need to complete this mission?\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Language itself matters too, of course. \u201cWar is what happens when language fails,\u201d author Margaret Atwood once famously said. And one thing that effectively completes missions in both military and civilian life is clarity. The U.S. government even has a website called plainlanguage.gov<\/a>, which extols the virtues of being understood. Its guidelines: \u201cAvoid jargon,\u201d which it defines as \u201cunnecessarily complicated language used to impress, rather than inform, your audience.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But jargon can be found anywhere groups must communicate with other groups. Consider police statements, which often contain phrases you\u2019d never consider using in actual human conversation. They\u2019re full of \u201calleged perpetrators,\u201d \u201cofficers engaging suspects\u201d and the always reliable \u201clate-model sedan last seen traveling west at a high rate of speed.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Soften the edges<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s true that many specialized ways of communicating \u2014 be they tone, lingo or style \u2014 are created by necessity, by the intricacies of the assignment or even by bonding among peer groups who must rely on each other to thrive and survive. But outside a specific circle, such communication styles can come across as out of sync or even brusque in ways someone might not intend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There are reams of advice about how to prevent such problems. Most come down to three basic things: Listen as much as you talk. Offer as much respect as you expect to receive \u2014 or more. And realize that you probably will have to win people over rather than ordering them to do things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oh \u2014 and let\u2019s not forget that question of bluntness, and how it might translate from the life you\u2019re leaving behind to the one in which you now want to thrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Elaine Boylan, who advises veterans transitioning to civilian life, always recommends that veterans emerging from the service to ask themselves: \u201cHow do you speak the language of this new world you plan to be in?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou need to translate for this new world,\u201d said Boylan, who works at the Center for Career and Professional Development at Adelphi University<\/a> in Garden City, NY. \u201cThey need to know what the new language will be \u2026 to take that verbiage and soften it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

McGinley, the retired Army officer, expressed similar sentiments \u2014 though he put it slightly differently. A cushioning, he said \u2014 be it one of word choice or demeanor \u2014 can make all the difference when it comes to communication.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhen you go to the civilian side, it\u2019s different. You can\u2019t be that direct,\u201d McGinley said. \u201cYou can\u2019t put yourself in a position where you could be misinterpreted as not treating people with dignity and respect.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Troops leaving the military\u2014especially for the first time\u2014can feel misunderstood. 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