{"id":70422,"date":"2022-05-01T15:13:46","date_gmt":"2022-05-01T15:13:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/one.sightlinemg.com\/airforcetimes\/uncategorized\/2022\/05\/01\/making-the-transition-from-service-easier-for-military-families\/"},"modified":"2026-08-08T14:31:43","modified_gmt":"2026-08-08T14:31:43","slug":"making-the-transition-from-service-easier-for-military-families","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/one.sightlinemg.com\/airforcetimes\/education-transition\/2022\/05\/01\/making-the-transition-from-service-easier-for-military-families\/","title":{"rendered":"Making the transition from service easier for military families"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Transition from the military to civilian living is a major life change for service members and their families. As with those who have served, military spouses and their children must navigate everything from job searches and financial upheaval to altered relationships and stressful relocations. While many feel ready for transition and even excited, confusion, sadness and frustration are all too common.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Victoria Terrinoni<\/a>, author of \u201cWhere You Go, I Will Go: Lessons From a Military Spouse<\/a>,\u201d identified rediscovering a sense of self as a primary challenge after transition. \u201cMany spouses feel like it is now their time to be their own person but often aren\u2019t sure who that is anymore,\u201d said Terrinoni. For the 31 years her husband served, Terroni\u2019s main identity was being a military spouse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jennifer Aloisie became an Army spouse at an age when many are still under their parents\u2019 wings. \u201cWhen my husband joined the military he was 18. When we got married and I joined him at his second duty station, I was 19. I tell people often that when we got married, we were both kids and the military was our parent. I am not joking when I say that retiring and reintegration into civilian society is like growing up and leaving your parents\u2019 home all over again. We had to learn how to adult for a second time.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then there\u2019s the loss of military community and connection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPutting down roots \u2026 can be hard after moving around. The loss of community was a big issue for me, mainly because we do not live near a military base,\u201d said Terrinoni.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Navy spouse Katie Hancock shared how it felt when her husband transitioned. \u201cThe people he served beside were incredibly hard to leave. They are still family.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fortunately, separation can be easier when military families find veteran groups for support and camaraderie. \u201cAfter the military, we were lucky that his university had an incredible student veteran group,\u201d said Hancock. \u201cNow they\u2019re family too.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Conflicting emotions are common, even when military families are excited about transitioning to civilian life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI wanted to retire two assignments [four years] before my husband was ready. However, when the time came, I was afraid and anxious, even though I knew where we were going and what we would do,\u201d said Terrinoni. \u201cIt\u2019s such a significant change from what you are used to. I had a time of sadness for leaving it all behind, and I know my husband did too. And we both miss it still.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Transitioning family members must also relearn how to do things the civilian way. This includes activities most civilians take for granted like grocery shopping.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI literally anguished over which grocery store to go to. I was used to shopping at the commissary, and then I moved to an area with grocery stores all over the place,\u201d said Terrinoni. \u201cJust as it takes time to settle in after a PCS, I had to get used to a new location.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And then there are the kids to consider. Children may struggle as much as adults during transition. The military has often been all they\u2019ve ever known. Add that stress to moving, starting new schools and making new friends, and it\u2019s easy to understand why many kids find it overwhelming.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Heather Forrey, an Army spouse, described the impact on kids as \u201cthe worst.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\t