{"id":56152,"date":"2021-01-12T19:10:22","date_gmt":"2021-01-12T19:10:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/one.sightlinemg.com\/armytimes\/uncategorized\/2021\/01\/12\/behold-cargo-socks-the-gift-you-never-knew-you-needed\/"},"modified":"2026-08-08T08:40:22","modified_gmt":"2026-08-08T08:40:22","slug":"behold-cargo-socks-the-gift-you-never-knew-you-needed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/one.sightlinemg.com\/armytimes\/off-duty\/military-culture\/2021\/01\/12\/behold-cargo-socks-the-gift-you-never-knew-you-needed\/","title":{"rendered":"Behold! Cargo socks, the gift you never knew you needed"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Do you, like me, hate carrying around a bag of any kind but need a place to store keys, money and idenfitication? Maybe you just want to bring a handful of cheddary Cheez-Its on an afternoon hike but want your hands to remain unencumbered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Forget a backpack or <a href=\"https:\/\/www.marinecorpstimes.com\/off-duty\/military-culture\/2020\/09\/12\/a-brief-history-of-cargo-pants-the-militarys-greatest-fashion-contribution\/\" target=_blank>pants<\/a>, cargo socks are the way to go.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"636\" height=\"493\" src=\"\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/Screen-Shot-2021-01-12-at-1.22.01-PM.png.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-91791\" srcset=\"https:\/\/one.sightlinemg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/Screen-Shot-2021-01-12-at-1.22.01-PM.png.jpg 636w, https:\/\/one.sightlinemg.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/Screen-Shot-2021-01-12-at-1.22.01-PM.png.jpg?resize=300,233 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 636px) 100vw, 636px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cCargo Socks let you take areas that have traditionally remained pocketless and raise them to new heights in functionality,\u201d according to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Prank-Pack-Prank-Original-Awesome\/dp\/B089ZG6371?th=1\" target=_blank>the packaging<\/a>. \u201cCombining the comfort of a tailored garment with the style and practicality of your favorite multi-pocket pants, Cargo Socks perform as great as they look. Whether your paylos is a favorite hard candy, or life-saving insulin, you can rest easy knowing it\u2019s sound, and within arms reach, in your Cargo Socks.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Unfortunately, they aren\u2019t real.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Cargo Socks are part of ruse by a gag gift box company used to throw recipients off the trail of what they\u2019re really getting. Other fake boxes sold include a \u201cFart Filter,\u201d \u201cNapSack,\u201d and \u201cPlant Urinal.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Those victims who unwrap a cargo sock box will expect to tear through the cardboard to find epic utility stockings, only to realize that no such thing is housed inside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In order to make the gag more convincing, however, the box lists all the features of the socks, including flip flop slots for those that like to wear them with sandals and a freezer-grade gasket to keep your snacks hot or cold for hours.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">To be honest, it\u2019s kind of a bummer. I for one intended to gift such knitted delicacies to my dad, who, in his retirement, has little need for pants, but would certainly delight in the usefulness of calf mules in which he could store snacks while keeping all his little piggies warm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Perhaps instead I\u2019ll learn to knit and open my own cargo sock Etsy shop.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Cargo socks make the perfect present.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":91780,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"single-post-observation-post","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_yoast_wpseo_meta-robots-noindex":"","_yoast_wpseo_meta-robots-nofollow":"","_yoast_wpseo_canonical":"","_acf":"","_yoast_wpseo_primary_category":73,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","_smg_distribution_targets":[]},"categories":[100,23,93,73,12,25,13,70],"tags":[],"coauthors":[3305],"class_list":["post-56152","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-daily-news-roundup","category-home","category-middle-column","category-military-culture","category-news","category-newsletters","category-off-duty","category-your-army"],"acf":{"subheadline":"","legacy_arc_id":"ONYLK5OUQBAGFMZ3DBJH564JAY","arc_canonical_url":"\/off-duty\/military-culture\/2021\/01\/12\/behold-cargo-socks-the-gift-you-never-knew-you-needed\/","remove_feature_photo":false,"is_sponsored":false,"subtype":"observation-post","redirect_url":"","disable_inline_ads":false,"native_logo_pretext":"Presented By:"},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v26.0 (Yoast SEO v28.1) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Behold! 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