{"id":41970,"date":"2021-09-28T20:18:04","date_gmt":"2021-09-28T20:18:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/one.sightlinemg.com\/marinecorpstimes\/uncategorized\/2021\/09\/28\/exceptional-and-able-teen-turns-down-military-future-over-exclusionary-policies\/"},"modified":"2026-08-08T03:49:21","modified_gmt":"2026-08-08T03:49:21","slug":"exceptional-and-able-teen-turns-down-military-future-over-exclusionary-policies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/one.sightlinemg.com\/marinecorpstimes\/opinion\/commentary\/2021\/09\/28\/exceptional-and-able-teen-turns-down-military-future-over-exclusionary-policies\/","title":{"rendered":"Exceptional and able: teen turns down military future over exclusionary policies"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Tory Ridgeway wanted to be an aerospace engineer in the U.S. Navy, but the Navy didn\u2019t seem to want him. Tory is my son, who also happens to have an autism diagnosis. My hope is that our family\u2019s experience with exclusionary military recruitment policies can be used to open doors for others with exceptional needs. This is Tory\u2019s story, but tomorrow it could be your child\u2019s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I had to describe Tory in one word, I would choose resilient. He is an honors student, eight-time Carson Scholar, Eagle Scout and a public speaker. He enjoys sketching and is a gamer. Tory was also diagnosed with autism at the age of four.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tory\u2019s Passion for Service<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Tory\u2019s journey has been long and arduous. Because of his disability, Tory has endured teasing, bullying, isolation and was even assaulted on a school bus. Through it all, Tory managed to excel and not allow those experiences to harden him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tory\u2019s love for aviation was born out of shadowing his dad, an aviation structural mechanic and quality assurance senior chief. His dad picked him up from daycare every day and introduced Tory to an array of aircraft. Their bond built the foundation of Tory\u2019s love for aviation and established his dream to want to follow in his father\u2019s footsteps, serving his country in the United States Navy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tory followed this passion for aviation by serving the military community where he could, through the Exceptional Family Members Program (EFMP). He gives presentations and holds staff workshops there every year for Autism Awareness Month.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tory also served the civilian community, through the Boy Scouts of America. He earned the rank of Eagle Scout at the age of 14. For his Eagle project, Tory hosted a presentation and shared his journey as a child with autism. He also built Buddy Benches<\/a> to help children like himself make friends on the playground. His brave efforts and ability to reach different audiences earned him numerous public speaking opportunities. His work educated people in all walks of life throughout the Washington, D.C. area.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tory\u2019s Time to Serve<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Despite being fully transparent about his autism diagnosis in his application, the Naval Reserve Officers Training Corps (NROTC) selection committee chose Tory to compete for an NROTC scholarship. This was his dream. Tory participated in and passed his formal interview with the Naval Science Instructor at his dream college, Embry Riddle Aeronautical University (ERAU). The instructor recommended Tory to the NROTC selection review board as a potential candidate. With full knowledge of his disability, the NROTC selection review board awarded Tory the NROTC scholarship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Tory was enrolled in NJROTC at Northern High School from 2017-2021. He graduated with the rank of chief petty officer in 2021.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Two months later, we received two letters stating Tory did not meet established physical standards, one from the Department of Navy, Bureau of Medicine and Surgery (BUMED) and the other from the Department of Defense Medical Examination Review Board (DOD MERB). Because of his disability, BUMED stated applying for a medical waiver was not recommended because of its being granted was unlikely. They said he was \u201cnot physically qualified and waiver denied.\u201d <\/b>This decision was made despite the medical examiner\u2019s determination that stated \u201ccondition fully controlled.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Navy instructions state that an applicant cannot attend the four-week New Student Indoctrination (NSI) training if they are deemed unqualified. Despite that, Tory received orders to attend that training. We still don\u2019t know how or why this happened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We felt helpless in those four weeks. Imagine having your child endure four weeks of intense training, all the while knowing that it is very likely going to be for nothing. There was no easy way out of this bureaucratic nightmare. During that time, we were able to have our congressman, U.S. Representative Steny Hoyer advocate for Tory. The Navy then allowed us the opportunity to submit a waiver request.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Tory Ridgeway graduated from Northern High School in 2021 as a distinguished scholar, eight-time Carson Scholar, Eagle Scout, and recipient of a full NJROTC Scholarship to Embry Riddle Aeronautical University.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

The emotional turmoil felt by an 18-year-old and our family was, at times, unbearable. Throughout the month, the only communication we had was letters from Tory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAll I think is that coming here was a mistake that I let myself be pressured into coming here so as to not look weak.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m still worried that this is all for nothing.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ve signed up to go to church … faith is something I need desperately.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI try to think about how you are both tirelessly working to make my goal [of joining the military] happen for me\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut I will keep going until the end. I promise.\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tory did not give up. He graduated. Most importantly, he was proud of himself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A Way Forward for Tory<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Although Tory was still in the medical waiver process, he was able to join his NJROTC unit at ERAU on August 23, 2021. It was then that he learned that if his waiver was approved, his career options would be limited to restricted line officer duties, meaning he could not pursue his dream career path due to his disability. Our family was devastated. Because of these limitations, Tory withdrew his waiver request and walked away from the fight for his NROTC scholarship. He returned the uniforms he was so eager to wear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Tory and Vanessa Ridgeway hugging after he checked into Embry Riddle Aeronautical University.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

But Tory is resilient. He is focused on enjoying college and is excelling as an honors student. He is looking forward to continuing to serve his community and is working towards a bright future. As his mother, I know he will continue to thrive in a world that is more inclusive and appreciative of the qualities that make Tory, Tory<\/i>, differences, and all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vanessa Ridgeway retired as a legal assistant three years after Tory\u2019s diagnosis. She devoted herself to learning about autism and advocacy and ensuring Tory received any and all additional therapies to help him thrive. Her volunteering helped ensure Tory was fully included in the educational setting. Vanessa volunteers as a parent educator and mentor for the EFMP Support Group on Joint Base Andrews. Vanessa has been a member of various disability organizations such as the Council of Parent Advocates and Attorneys, the Maryland Coalition of Inclusive Education, The Arc of Prince George\u2019s County, Parents Place of Maryland and Autism Speaks. She can be reached at <\/i>vridgeway7@gmail.com<\/i><\/a>. Do you have a story like Tory\u2019s? E-mail Partners in PROMISE: <\/i>info@partnersinpromise.org<\/i><\/a>.<\/i><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Editor\u2019s note: This is an Op-Ed and as such, the opinions expressed are those of the author. If you would like to respond, or have an editorial of your own you would like to submit, please contact Military Times senior managing editor Howard Altman, <\/i>haltman@militarytimes.com<\/i><\/a>.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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