{"id":53878,"date":"2022-05-27T01:32:43","date_gmt":"2022-05-27T01:32:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/one.sightlinemg.com\/marinecorpstimes\/uncategorized\/2022\/05\/27\/can-we-honor-deaths-by-suicide-on-memorial-day\/"},"modified":"2026-08-20T12:34:31","modified_gmt":"2026-08-20T12:34:31","slug":"can-we-honor-deaths-by-suicide-on-memorial-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/one.sightlinemg.com\/marinecorpstimes\/opinion\/commentary\/2022\/05\/27\/can-we-honor-deaths-by-suicide-on-memorial-day\/","title":{"rendered":"Can we honor deaths by suicide on Memorial Day?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

In 2016, shortly after my son\u2019s passing, I wrote that \u201cThe older you get, the faster time goes by.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Adam was a United States Marine who served in Afghanistan<\/a> during Operation Enduring Freedom<\/a>. He returned home in the summer of 2014 and died by suicide on July 5, 2015.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At age 24, he became one of the estimated \u201c22 a day\u201d \u2014 the number of veterans who take their own lives. Doing the math, 2,190 days have come and gone since then, totaling 48,180 veterans dying by suicide in the past six years. These are American heroes who likely suffered less-than-visible wounds of a war they never stopped fighting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to the Veterans Administration Office of Mental Health and Suicide Prevention 2021 Annual Report, the ten year average number of veteran suicide deaths<\/a> is around 6,000 per year. This is an astonishing casualty count when you consider the number of combat and other fatalities in recent wars: 58,220 in Vietnam<\/a>; 383 in the Gulf War<\/a>; and 6,840 in Iraq and Afghanistan<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thankfully, the number of veteran deaths by suicide has decreased by a few hundred per year since 2019. Several factors contribute to this progress, including greater awareness, growth in the number of education and treatment programs for veterans and their families, and the reduction of U.S. involvement in military conflicts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Aside from the obvious reason I\u2019ve spent a great deal of time focused on veteran suicide, there\u2019s a nagging question some families like mine might ponder. Is it acceptable to honor our loved ones on Memorial Day<\/a>? It is a day set aside for Americans to honor military personnel who perish in our nation\u2019s wars. Our son didn\u2019t die while he was serving in war, but a lot of the evidence shows he died because of what he experienced in war. Shall we pause to honor our loved ones only on Veterans Day<\/a>, which is designated to honor all U.S. veterans, living and gone?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Families of veterans who died by suicide likely may wonder if we\u2019re guilty of \u201cstolen valor\u201d when openly honoring them on Memorial Day. Still, those who know, know. For months after he returned, it was clear our son was battling something we could not understand. War changes even the strongest of people. Many military families would agree that the person to whom we said farewell died in the desert, at sea, in the jungle, mountains, or woods, somewhere far away from home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I found him lifeless, wearing his desert combat uniform clutching his dog tags in his left hand, there was no doubt he brought the war back with him. His journal contained details that eliminated any doubt that his daily and nightly reality included the sights, smells, sounds, and feelings about his actions in Afghanistan. He was dying for a year from his mental battles, which culminated in a final, physical act. Yes, Adam\u2019s and other veterans\u2019 suicide deaths are casualties of war every bit as real as if they experienced the same mortal end in combat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A recent federal class action lawsuit, Manker v. Del Toro<\/a>, got me thinking about the notion that Adam actually \u201cdied in Afghanistan.\u201d This is the sort of thing about which survivors agonize. We search for meaning and connections that somehow might explain what, how, why this happened. In this case, the plaintiff is a dishonorably discharged veteran diagnosed with PTSD while on active duty.<\/p>\n\n\n\t