{"id":116848,"date":"2020-12-19T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2020-12-19T12:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/one.sightlinemg.com\/militarytimes\/uncategorized\/2020\/12\/19\/this-service-member-wants-you-to-reach-out-to-him-if-you-need-help\/"},"modified":"2026-08-08T13:18:36","modified_gmt":"2026-08-08T13:18:36","slug":"this-service-member-wants-you-to-reach-out-to-him-if-you-need-help","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/one.sightlinemg.com\/militarytimes\/commentary\/2020\/12\/19\/this-service-member-wants-you-to-reach-out-to-him-if-you-need-help\/","title":{"rendered":"This service member wants you to reach out to him if you need help"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Suicide is one of the leading causes of death in the U.S. military and the 10th leading cause of death in all the United States, claiming the lives of close to 50,000 people a year. I hope to change the stigma of talking about suicide by sharing my experience and reaching out to anyone who feels overcome and alone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I joined in early 2013, attended basic training and then proceeded to Pensacola, Florida, for CTT \u201cA\u201d School. From there I went to Norfolk, Virginia, to the USS Bainbridge where I served onboard for just under four years. We completed one deployment and several outings during my time there. I transferred from DDG-96 after receiving orders to VQ-1 in Whidbey Island, Washington. I love my job and being able to fly, however the job has not been easy in terms of work-life balance. My deployments here are frequent and it has led to me being deployed for over half the time I have been at this command.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thinking back to the very beginning, I realize that I was slipping into depression exceedingly early on. Some of the warning signs I missed were finding little interest in doing things, disassociating from the life I was living, and going through each day tired no matter how much sleep I got the night before. In addition to this isolation and exhaustion, I faced an extreme deployment and work schedule which kept me from my family. Before I even realized what I was doing to myself, I was on my way home from another deployment with no place to live and a significant other who wanted nothing to do with me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I found a place to live after spending two weeks in a hotel trying to figure out my life. You would think this is a step in the right direction, but it was straight downhill from there. My day-to-day life was seemingly normal but when I got home, my mind would take over. Scenarios manifested in my mind where everyone\u2019s life was better without me. I allowed the voices in my head to get the better of me: destroying me and convincing me that I was worthless. The easiest way to escape these voices was to drown them out with alcohol. Every night, seven days a week, I was resorting to alcohol to get myself out of my own head. Three bottles of whiskey a week is what I inevitably fell into.<\/p>\n\n\n\t