A straightforward story about a well adjusted veteran addressing everyday life challenges with skill, good humor, and determination doesn\u2019t effectively sell newspapers, movies or snake oil remedies. Instead, U.S. pop culture is heavily weighted with stories of veterans going \u2018postal\u2019 and having unsuccessful transitions out of the military. Have you ever wondered why it seems like the civilian public skews the narrative like this?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Since the origin of human language, we have categorized people into in-groups and out-groups \u2013 us vs. them. Some scientists believe this is part of a reward system in our nervous system where our brain is reinforced for recognizing individuals who are the same as us, with the goal of creating safety.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Throughout our lives, we hear stories \u2013 from our families, friends, the media, religious institutions, elected officials \u2013 that make us look at those \u201cothers\u201d in a certain way. It\u2019s a fundamental part of the human experience. And when we act on those stories as if they are true, it solidifies narratives and prevents us from having contradictory experiences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The problem? That information may not even be true. Often, we don\u2019t even know where these biases and narratives originate. That\u2019s because our brains operate on addition \u2013 not subtraction. Every experience that each one of us has is added and added and added to again, and we don\u2019t actually have control over the validity of the input provided.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Let\u2019s do a little experiment:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMary had a little __________.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cBlondes have more ________.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Probably most of us automatically came up with \u201clamb\u201d and \u201cfun.\u201d But how did everyone learn those same statements? Can we even remember where that information came from originally? Probably not. These networks of relations between words are entrenched and longstanding, and we don\u2019t even have to actually believe the statements to have the assumed answers pop right into our brains.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why should we care about this? So what if we have nursery rhymes and song lyrics programmed into our brains?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because what if it\u2019s the same process that leads us to assumptions and actions toward other people in our world? What if these are the same steps that lead people to think that military veterans are \u201ccrazy\u201d or \u201cviolent\u201d or to discourage talented young people from joining the military? And if so, how do we change it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don\u2019t believe that we can change these assumptions simply by counteracting the evidence with facts and corrective information. In fact, some research has shown that counterarguments can paradoxically strengthen problematic beliefs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Instead, I believe that the answer may lie in using language differently. Because, at its core, whether we\u2019re talking about public communications or clinical work in healthcare settings, I propose that it\u2019s about expanding our networks of beliefs and language to enhance flexibility and effective action. The human condition is rarely about either\/or \u2013 most of life exists in the gray areas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So, how can we build a more complex and nuanced network of understanding of what it means to serve and to be a military veteran? By telling the *whole* story, not just the broken parts of the story related to veteran suicide, or transition problems, or homelessness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because veterans aren\u2019t broken – but how our society talks about them often is. This \u201cbroken\u201d stereotype often comes down to how the media reduces veterans to extremes: invincible heroes or individuals with their heads in their hands, overcome by challenges. And with just 6% of Americans having served in the military, many people don\u2019t even realize that they personally know a veteran. This distance creates a context for negative caricatures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
After a 30-year career working with veterans, here\u2019s what my experience tells me: Veterans\u2019 leadership under pressure, commitment to mission, deep sense of camaraderie, and sharp humor are core to who they are. They\u2019re resourceful, resilient, and committed to the greater good. And they\u2019re not just my favorite clients, they\u2019re my close friends, my dad, my colleagues, my uncles, my beloved cousin Marty, and they\u2019re who I\u2019d want next to me in times of crisis.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That said, it\u2019s important to acknowledge that military service can also sometimes come with serious challenges, proven by one of the leading causes of death among veterans: suicide. Ignoring the challenges of the veteran experience would do a disservice to the truth – but so does focusing on the problems alone. Veterans\u2019 strengths and challenges exist side by side, and addressing one without the other fails to capture what it means to serve.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Bottom line: Veterans deserve to be recognized for ALL that they are: resilient, multifaceted, and human. When we see that, then we see it\u2019s not us and them \u2013 it\u2019s all of us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Dr. Sonja Batten is a licensed clinical psychologist and Chief Clinical Officer at Stop Soldier Suicide. Dr. Batten has dedicated her career to improving the lives of veterans across the public, private and nonprofit sectors. She is an internationally recognized speaker and trainer on veteran mental health, PTSD, and innovative psychotherapy approaches. She is also the author of over 50 scientific publications and two books.<\/p>\n\n\n\n![\"\"](\"\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/Sonja-Batten-3-002.jpeg.jpg\")
<\/figure>\n\n\n\n