{"id":63420,"date":"2019-02-08T22:09:45","date_gmt":"2019-02-08T22:09:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/one.sightlinemg.com\/navytimes\/uncategorized\/2019\/02\/08\/time-out-for-high-fives-and-hugs-parents-question-new-elementary-school-rule\/"},"modified":"2026-08-08T12:08:21","modified_gmt":"2026-08-08T12:08:21","slug":"time-out-for-high-fives-and-hugs-parents-question-new-elementary-school-rule","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/one.sightlinemg.com\/navytimes\/management\/pay-benefits\/2019\/02\/08\/time-out-for-high-fives-and-hugs-parents-question-new-elementary-school-rule\/","title":{"rendered":"Time out for high fives and hugs? Parents question new elementary school rule"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

An elementary school for military kids in Bahrain has implemented a controversial new policy that bans any type of physical contact between students \u2014 from hugs to horseplay.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And while the school\u2019s principal sees the No Body Contact rule as a temporary way to curb a recent spike in recess roughhousing, some parents say the policy goes too far.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYoung children need to be able to physically interact with their friends to feel secure, to release energy, and to help them learn,\u201d said Theresa Tamash, who has a third-grade daughter at the school.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tamash told Military Times in an email the new policy is \u201cdrastic\u201d and was implemented without any prior notice to students and parents that there were ongoing problems at recess.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bahrain School principal Penelope Miller-Smith referred a request for comment to the Department of Defense Education Activity. However, in earlier comments to Stars and Stripes, which first reported<\/a> the story, she said the rule is only temporary as the administration works on a more permanent solution to \u201chelp reduce touching that is hurtful, unwanted and in some instances misunderstood.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

DoDEA spokesman Will Griffin said this technique, intended only to address an immediate issue, has previously been used at other schools and is seen as “a teaching and learning opportunity.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a Jan. 30 email to parents, obtained by Military Times, Miller-Smith wrote, \u201cOver the past weeks our recess behavior has escalated to include frequent incidences with children touching, pushing and such to one another. For example, the game of tag often gets rough or children don\u2019t realize how their tap is interpreted as a push. While many of these incidences are not intentional children are being hurt or feel like they are being hurt.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the email, the No Body Contact rule, dubbed NBC for short, is defined as \u201cany touching to peers.\u201d Students who break it will receive an immediate 1- to 3-minute time out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhile many of the touching is meant as a gesture of kindness and friendship without a common and simple definition it becomes difficult to enforce,\u201d the email states.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Griffin described the rule as a \u201cbaseline\u201d from which to work and said DoDEA already has established policies for student behavior and discipline.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
In this October 2018 photo, sailors volunteer at Bahrain School, where a new “No Body Contact” rule has some parents questioning whether the administration has gone too far. (Mass Communication Specialist 3rd Class Jonathan Clay\/Navy)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Tamash conducted an informal Google survey of Bahrain School parents on Facebook and collected 30 responses in two days. The large majority of respondents, 73 percent, believe NBC is negative for the school environment. Thirteen percent said it was positive, and another 13 percent were undecided, according to the results Tamash shared with Military Times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Carmen Sunderland, a Navy spouse with two boys enrolled at the school, also opposes the policy, which she called \u201cextreme.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If it\u2019s only temporary, that would be more appropriate, she said. But she feels the school has not communicated that to parents. It\u2019s not clear how long the rule will be in place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe Bahrain School is full of military kids, many of whom PCS in\/out weekly,\u201d she said via Facebook message. \u201cIt\u2019s a transient group in a very different culture\/environment. It takes time to adjust. Kids should be able to hug their friend goodbye and give a high five to the new guy. Kids should be taught how to play tag without hurting, and kids that don\u2019t obey the rules for any game should be the ones put in time out.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She said kids like to hug or hold hands with their friends and should feel like it\u2019s OK to do so. Being allowed to touch outside of school, but not at school, sends mixed signals to children, especially little ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cKids go to school to learn, including time at recess. It\u2019s another great chance children have to learn to socialize, play the right way, and make good choices during a game or activity.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Griffin said the rule “was never designed as a never-touch-anyone-else policy. That\u2019s absolutely not what it was.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAt the end of the day, this issue is about rough play at recess,\u201d he said. \u201cThat\u2019s the whole crux of the issue. The principal took some issues to address that rough play issue and allow students to be part of the process.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He said the school is taking this time to teach children the difference between appropriate and inappropriate touches in a game of tag, for example, or what constitutes a safe and fun interaction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tamash hopes that as the principal and others work on a more permanent solution, they will use the opportunity to teach children about consent \u2014 that they may not touch anyone unless they want to be touched, whether it\u2019s by hugging, holding hands or wrestling, she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She wants the school to address whether playground monitors will handle aggression.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She also said parents have signed up to be school volunteers and provide additional eyes during recess time, but they have not been called on to do that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think there is [a] simple answer to keeping a playground free from occasional aggressive play, but NBC is certainly not teaching any positive lessons,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tamash said she has voiced her concerns to Miller-Smith, and the principal has been responsive. The two have scheduled a meeting to discuss the issue next week, she said.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The school\u2019s principal sees the No Body Contact rule as a way to curb a recent spike in recess roughhousing. 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